4. Twiligh Saga-Stephenie Meyer

You have to understand right off the bat that humans have opinions and that you many not always agree with mine in particular. But I'll try my very best to contain them.
So Twilight. I was first introuduced to the book by a friend. I'm unsure if it was during the Twilight hype or right before it became famous with the movie and trademark. Alright, so I get handed this thick Bible and I'm like...alright, just give it a shot, a lot of people like it so I might like as well.

The first thing that jumps out of you is the first book's cover. Adam & Eve. I'm not very religious but I DON'T think Jesus would be very happy about any Biblical allusions having been used on the book reinforcing a species that is deemed Satanical! *laughs* So I continue on to begin the actual text itself. I honestly think Stephenie Meyer was writing for an audience that consisted of 1. Blind people and 2. 5th Graders

1. Blind People: Could you make the text ANY BIGGER and

DOUBLE

SPACED

ENOUGH?

I don't approve because quite frankly, you're just a tree killer, Mrs. Meyer.

2. 5th Graders: Okay, so I may write this blog as a 5th grader would speak but that doesn't compare to writing a novel. There is nothing challenging about the book (which is probably one of the reasons why so many girls--and guys--enjoy reading this), vocabulary is low, etc. etc. I think she could have done a much better job. But like I said, that is MY opinion.

Now, I do think the story line is different from what we have seen in years. We had just finished (sadly) with the wizarding world of Harry Potter, and moved into more abnormal beings and that became fresh and new, I suppose. What Meyer did so brilliantly and used it as a weapon to attract female readers was having created this perfect figure in Edward Cullen. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect poise, perfect flaw (being a vampire/weakness to human blood). The way he loves and protects Bella just got all of us mushy inside, going "AWW! Why can't I have a boyfriend that amazing and gorgeous!?" And let me be the first to admit, I fell for it ALL. I guess Meyer knew to do that, since she's a woman. I guess she kissed her pillows all the time and imagined this character all her life (didn't she have a dream about this actually?). But c'mon, femalre readers, we could totally use a man like Edward. But it's fantasy...maybe we shouldn't be perfect. I mean, I even mentioned Edward has a flaw, and I think it's the flaws the make us all so different and not boring. To be honest, I'd get sick of my boyfriend if he were perfect. I'd get jealous and annoyed after a few months and I'm sure you would too. Holding on to our human flaws will save the human species, trust me, so don't try to look or be perfect, may it be weight, hair,smile. Just be and appreciate it......Okay, my deep, psychological therapy ends here, sorry.

As I mentioned before, it is easy & quick to read Meyer's books. It is not forced on us by the English Department of ours schools so therefore that makes us see it as a leisure read. We are reading because we WANT to, not because it is mandatory for an exam in June. Hey, I happen to like the books we are given in school to read (otherwise I wouldn't have started this blog, obviously), but I understand where people are coming from when they just want to read for them and not someone else. There doesn't have to be much thinking involved, no assignments to be done afterwards, yadda yadda.

What turns me off is what society has turned this book into. It's a cute, petite love story yes but...this is what drives me insane: OMG! EDWARD! OMG! JACOB! OMG! EDWARD'S BROTHER WITH THE HOT ABS! HEY! I think Robert Pattinson's a darlinggggg, but unfortunately, Hollywood has put it's malicious hands on something and turned it into this hype that has made it ennui (boring) and quite frankly, annoying. Yes, I'm talking to you girls who SHRIEK every minute Robert is on screen, couldja please shut the hell up? Relax!

But in the end, it has been a success for both actors and author and whoever else is involved in this and cheers to you all! And people like it. It may be because today's morals, how society has twisted these morals and changed them and Twilight has become a product of that. If it weren't for black and white films and the swooning and the kissing in the rain scenes from those movies you people deem: awful, boring, lame, gay...well, you have them to thank for, or you would have never ended up to Native-American-boy-slash-wolf-plus-vampire-dude-fighting-for-some-gir's-heart idea.

Below, a pretty hilarious skit from one heck of a good show, Saturday Night Live. For now, I shall return to my coffin...I'm too tan, I need to lighten up. Ha-ha. Ciao!

3. The Great Gatsby- F. Scott Fitzgerald

*Spoiler Alert*

Oh boy! The great American Dream novel. Rather, the decline of the American Dream. F. Scott Fitzgerald is my second favorite author and you've got to admit this is a well liked (and pretty damn good) story. I mean, who else makes Long Island seem so intriguing and fun? Before I continue: if you have only read this work by Fitzgerald, you're missing out on something. I recommend you pick up any of his short stories, they're easy to read and quick too. Most pertain to the daily life in the 1920s such as Yale University's annual dances, and Yale this and Yale that. I guess that's not very daily for many of us, but Fitzgerald liked the Ivy League concept of the rich kids enjoying balls, smoking, drinking, and having a good time. Sounds like the typical high school Friday night, no? ;)

We are introduced to the narrator, Nick Carraway, a young man who, believe it or not, just graduated from Yale University and has moved to New York City to learn the bond business. And who turns out to be his neighbor? Jay Gatsby, the "old sport"! While Nick lives in this miniscule cottange (I'm exaggerating, yes), Gatsby inhabits a luxurious mansion. Well, you know, there has to be a swooning, weak woman in the story somewhere because face it, it is the 1920s and despite flappers of the time, many women were still deemed inferior to men. I reckon having the right to vote didn't mean anything to the damn bastards [men]. That spot is filled up by Daisy Buchanan. Daisy and Gatsby had a fling one summer when Gatsby was dirt poor and a soldier in the army but of course the little prat couldn't love him because he had no money. So she marries Tom Buchanan, old money type of fellow, who in my opinion is a cheating man whore. Now Tom's having his thing with a woman by the name of Myrtle. So I guess this entitles the right for Daisy to have some fun too, outside her marriage, that is!

Now follow the chemistry equation below:

Gatsby starts messing with the wrong crowd --> makes money out of dirty work--> buys mansion + throws parties = a way for Daisy to notice his new social status, with a remainder of 'Love Me Ardently, Daisy'.

Naturally, it ends up working and they have their affair and all that. And naturally Gatsby gets caught up in a misunderstanding all thanks to Daisy and gets shot while on a FABULOUS floaty in his FABULOUS pool. It's all very sad, mind you.

But what really strikes me from this novel is how far someone will go for the person they love. Can you even call that love? What Daisy and Gatsby shared was more a result of exasperated lust. They just need one another, constantly. And all the silly things that entail these feelings they share for one another just screws everything up or means nothing. For example, the people who attend Gatsby's parties are people he doesn't even know nor have met before. He only hopes that this will entice Daisy...I think Gatsby lives by the famous line: "If you've got it, flaunt it!" And it leads you to think how irrational adults can act. Is it even worth wasting time, energy, and money in this case for something that is 1. unrealistic and 2. never meant to work out?

We also see the decline of the American Dream in this novel and that is symbolized by the Valley of Ashes (a creepy little section between East & West Egg and Manhattan where Myrtle resides with her husbands (um, why are all these people so sex driven and unsatisfied with their current spouse?). It is what is it, valley of ashes. The lowest of the low. People coming to America with big dreams and a chance to take advantage of all the opportunities lying ahead of them. In the 20's, it's all taken for granted. They don't see, they are blinded, people aren't living, they let it pass them by, party after party, and the material excess of these rich people play a major role. And obviously, each of Fitzgerald's characters represent different parts of the social class and how it's all interconnected.

Intense message? Yes! And not to mention the eyes of T.J. Eckleburg on the advertising billboard above the Valley of Ashes. God watching over American society--a deteriorating wasteland.

But as the Peggy Lee song song goes: "...but the rich get rich and the poor get poorer/ in the meantime/ in between time/ ain't we got fun."

So to end this post on this unforgettable novel, I leave you with a quote that sums it ALL up by the man himself:

"That was always my experience--a poor boy in a rich town; a poor boy in a rich boy's school; a poor boy in a rich man's club at Princeton...However, I have never been able to forgive the rich for being rich, and it has colored my entire life and works."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

P.S. This will bring out the dork in me, but 1920's is my favorite era, so the dancing and the dresses are to die for. I'm sure SOME of you agree. The grandeur and fun of it all... Besides, you WISH you could dance like that. Pshh, all that hip hop nonsense doesn't count!

2. Hamlet by William Shakespeare

*Spoiler Alert*

Alright, I couldn't help myself. My second choice Hamlet I'll be very honest when to comes to Shakespeare: I don't like nor understand his writing. You are all probably thinking: OMFG! BLASPHEMY! Well, if you are, I don't really care, okay? There's something rotten in the state of New York and that would my strong dislike for Mr.S! No matter how many works I've read of his, I can't seem to grasp the language, not one bit (perhaps I should lay off the Canteburry Tales?). But Hamlet happens to be my favorite out of Shakespeare's collection so here it goes.

This is probably by far William Shakespeare most prominent plays. It is believed that William wrote this between 1599 to 1601, and you must understand that anything concerning our beloved Mr. S, dates seem to be a mystery.
Here's a quick synopsis:
The play recounts the story the Prince of Denmark and his revenge on his uncle Claudius, whom Hamlet believes killed his father for the crown. You have to feel SOME pity for Hamlet--he seems to be the only one in Denmark mourning the recent death of his father (wearing black garb and being oh so melancholy)while Claudius goes off and marries Gertrude, Hamlet's mother. Let's pause right here. Now how to explain Gertrude in less than 10 seconds? Foolish-woman-who-falls-for-a-power-hungry-bastard-and-wait-do-her-and-Hamlet-have-a-little-incest-thing-going-on? WOAH! Alright, not going ANY further-but if you're curious, watch the version with Glenn Close and Mel Gibson or read the goddamn play! Hamlet is absolutely furious at his mother and he has every right to. What woman marries another man after their husband just died!? See, foolish!
Now, Claudius has his right hand man, Polonius. The poor fellow does get stabbed while listening in on a conversation shared between Gertrude and Hamlet--the Prince thinks it's Claudius behind the curtain. Bye-bye Polonius. But why, may you ask, was Hamlet conversing to his mother about? Well, naturally, he was trying to get some sense into her dense head that the true culprit behind his father's death is the exact man she's sleeping with. Hamlet has to go far enough as to put on a play about how Claudius killed the King because Gertrude just didn't get it.
Oh there is also Horatio,one of my favorite characters in literature (second to Holden Caulfield). He is Hamlet's best amigo. And I mean very best. He's the sort of guy who in school who's friends with everybody, and never says too much but when he does it has a deep meaning behind it, you know? I am sure that if you have read this you will agree with me that he is by far the best character in this--Hamlet is wonderful but he does whine a lot, as seen in the famous soliloquy in Act 3 Scene 1:

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

If you didn't quite catch it, this is the scene where Hamlet questions why he is still alive, that he must suffer--at this point he's having a hard time as it is contemplating the killing of Claudius. He is questioning his afterlife if he commits suicide. Simply: Is it better to live or to die? And---HEY! I haven't even METNIONED Ophelia. Well! Ophelia is the chick that's totally into Hamlet and Hamlet does like her very much, otherwise why would he even mention her in his famous soliloquy. Ophelia is the daughter of Polonius, first of all. And second of all, she's crazier than Hamlet. At one point Hamlet tells her: GET THEE TO A NUNERY! And she flips, goes mad and starts singing some terrible song and goes and drowns herself. PLEASE I IMPLORE THAT YOU WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW BEFORE READING THE REST OF THIS POST:

Speaking of Ophelia, she has a brother Laertes who returns from France and wantsto revenge his father. It's classic, this is the part where EVERYBODY DIES:

Claudius tries to kill Hamlet by poisoning his drink-Gertrude drinks it instead and dies, Laertes and Hamlet's ensues, Danis style, they both stab one another--Hamlet goes over and stabs Claudius--and finally Hamlet names Prince Fortinbras of Norway as the heir to the throne, and DIES. THE END. Tragedy it was!

Look, I can't tell you EVERYTHING that happens but I'll list a few things I didn't mention before and some of my other thoughts:

• Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are two buffons. They don't much add to the plot but I do applaud them for being comical, useless, back stabbing friends. Well done, chaps!


• Hamlet gets exiled to England but he miraculously returns. I was swooning at that part, literally, my hero has indeed returned!
  
• There's a GREAT scene at the graveyard during Ophelia's funeral where Hamlet goes on and on holding a skull in his hand. By far my favorite part of the play. He is truly human and you just connect with this tormented soul.


• There has been numerous adaptions of Hamlet since it's debut. But c'mon, Jude Law!? He's too damn hot. Now if I had seen his Broadway performance, I'd be drooling instead of listening to the words. In film though, Kenneth Branagh (the dude who played Gilderoy Lockhart in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) outdid himself! The bleached blonde hair absolutely did his eyes wonders and his acting! My God! He has done multiple works by Shakespeare but he DELIVERS! Highly recommend watching this version--Kate Winslet even makes an appearance as Ophelia! Can't get any better than Rose Dewitt Bukater from Titanic!

Below you will find some of the best clips concerning Hamlet. Enjoy and until next time! Adieu!

1.The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

*Spoiler Alert*

So I lied. I will not be starting with Franny and Zooey. Let's start with Kafka's novella, the Metamorphosis ( Die Verwandlung) published in 1915, something I recently finished. Kafka was born in Austria-Hungary (what is now the Czech Republic) in 1883. His literary style has been deemed modernism and existentialism and I don't think you can get more existentialistic than this story. We are bluntly introduced to the main character of the novella, Gregor Samsa who just happened to awake one lovely morning to find himself turned into a "monstrous vermin". What is Kafka does to toy with us is that he never once mentions what a bug Gregor has morphed into, rather leaves it for the reader to imagine the poor fellow him/herself. Kafka goes as far as to hint at sticky liquid that he gives off and multiple little legs that Gergor later learns to control.

The story is broken up into 3 sections and has very few characters.
Gregor Samsa: the protagonist who has somehow turned into a bug, family income is provided by him through work in salesman business, young, lonely
Grete Samsa: Gregor's younger sister, excellent violin player, turns out to be the only one who helps Gregor with keeping his room and feeding him.
Mr. Samsa: father who owes an enormous debt to Gregor's boss, from the beginning is disgusted at his son's transformation. I happen to dislike him a lot because he's a goddamn lazy old man who does nothing but attempt to kill Gregor using apples (not squishing him!).
Mrs. Samsa: mother, at first shocked and later decides to go into Gregor's room to see her son but can't handle it so she faints...typical.
3 Tenants: three snooty tenants decide to rent a room in the Samsas' apartment so as for them to make some money while Gregor suffers in his present-bug state.

There is more to the story than just a man turning into a squishy bug.
Gregor's family symbolizes the corrupt state of humanity, and here is Gregor working his ass off while they sit around doing nothing useful. You know you and I have done this before: perhaps your mother is cooking a meal or cleaning and you're sitting around watching TV, making excuses not to help, or a classmate calls you to invite you over because they need help in a project but you don't pick up the phone.
Gregor also symbolizes his truth TO humanity despite having changed in form. Just because he is a bug doesn't mean he doesn't feel. He is lonely, depressed, hopeful, and at one point his quest for sexual pleasure is seen through his passion for a portrait of a young lady that hangs in his room. Kafka never identifies this woman, but Gregor refuses to let his sister and mother remove it from his room when the women decide to clean out the furniture.
All in all a great, quick read. So very much behind the text which may be hard to pick up in the first read because you're too in shock that this man is really a bug and that he has human thoughts and speaks and acts like you or I would.

The question is: WHAT turned Gregor into a bug in the first place? Was it his family? Was it himself? We'll never know and THIS is what makes it so mind boggling. I think Kafka likes to tease us, don't you?

Alright, I hope this wasn't an idiotic first post. I will try to get better as we go on.

Short clip below:

A Much Needed Introduction

I haven't been very succesful with my blogs. To this day I have had a handful of them. But I promised myself to remain committed to this one because this will not only be a blog but also a real journey. My goal is to read a great number of books (my short term goal is 150ish, long term the "1,001") and to write my opinions and so on. This won't be posts of only books but music, films, some fashion, and other little things. I'll see how this goes.

But first, an introduction. I am the Fat Lady but in reality that is not my name, nor am I fat (I think?). I'm Fernanda, pleasure to meet you, yes, thank you very much. I'm the same old bookworm who can't seem to go on without purchasing books whenever I see one. I'm from New York and I speak all these different languages and whatnot. But that's not very important.

You may be wondering where the hell I got the name of the blog? Perhaps if you are an avid reader you will know. But if you aren't (yet, since I will convert you), it comes from my absolute FAVORITE author of all time, J.D. Salinger's novel Franny and Zooey. It will be the first book I will be blogging about so I don't want to say too much but there's this dude and he's all philosophical and it turns out that the "fat lady" he mentions is really Christ. Or is it...?

So let's be friends, let's read endless hours, enjoy and discuss and feel and just live.

:)

Music: "Flim"--Aphex Twins

Film: Coco Avant Chanel

La Mode: Dark green cloak, belted and aviator boots

Today: Polish president dies in plane crash